Hello and good evening and welcome...
to the Big Barn Gala Night
My name is Dick Gowzinja,
I'll be be your host for this evening...
Hello and good evening and welcome...
to the Big Barn Gala Night
My name is Dick Gowzinja,
I'll be be your host for this evening
And won't you please welcome to the stage
the first of our lovely ladies
Yes, it's Chardonnay
Chardonnay thinks it's wrong to be a despot
Chardonnay thinks it's wrong to have weapons of mass destruction
Big hand for Chardonnay
Next up it's the lovely Melody
Melody is twenty four and from Basildon
Melody likes midnight walks and shared conversation
Big hand for Melody
OK next up, please welcome Harmony
Harmony is twenty four and from Romford
Mmm, that's nice, Harmony.
Harmony likes: shopping...
Big hand for Harmony.
And finally it's Brenda from Plymouth.
Brenda likes: sailors, and Navy Cake.
Big hand for Brenda
Gala Night
© Tyrone Schulace and his Pals 2014
Bend like the willow, go with the flow
Leave stuff behind, let stuff go
Pass the hat, throw the shoe
Toss the pot, take a pew
Arse about, bum around
Homeward bound, safe and sound
On Soundcloud
Corduroy Kingston, he's full of surprises
Even his ears are of different sizes
One is very small and of no use at all
The other one's huge and wins prizes
Oh Corduroy
Bitter, unsuccessful loser
wallowing in an unending sea of inert drooping loneliness
looking for a twenty three year old needy leach-like hanger-on
Local man, medium build, seeks alibi for Thursday night
anything considered
Bad tempered, foul mouthed, barnacled, sea-faring man
seeks attractive twenty one year old blonde lady with big chest
Corduroy Kingston lonely hearts
Placing his ads in Exchange & Mart
Serving up charisma only it's tinned
His nose hair's always blowing in the wind
Oh Corduroy
Hmmm Corduroy
Corduroy Kingston, he's unique
He places his ads nearly every week
The ladies answer - but all should beware
He dried those dishes with his underwear
Oh Corduroy Corduroy Kingston
Oh Corduroy Corduroy Kingston